If you are made redundant…God has a plan for you.

 This quote. A promise from God. I believe it is written for me too (: I feel redundant in certain places in my life. Especially in my class, my school. Among the girls. The girls, they always always hang out together, they celebrate everyone's birthday and invite everyone for certain events. Everyone but not me. It's not that they hate me, no no, I know it's not. I'm just not noticeable. They do care, just not as much and I don't feel it. This year, on my birthday. No one wished me.. really. Only a few like Zhi Wei and so wished. The rest? They don't even know. I mean, they DO know when it is. But perhaps they forgot and just well, didn't wish in the end. Hurtful. To see them celebrating everyone's except mine. It's not about the celebrating, they didn't even wish me. ): At least, Jun Kit actually wished a belated birthday. The girls? No no, not at all. What am I to do so much for them? I know, I know, I always tell people, it's about giving, you don't expect anything back. But, thing is, I really really put an effort even for people im not close with! There was once, I'm not close to this girl, it was a birthday, there was a surprise, I contributed and helped out. We got her a guitar, not cheap ~ really. And then, guess what? She was guessing and stuff and said I confirm didn't contribute. WASEH. S: I feel so.. zzz.. Aihs. Dear Jolene, please constantly remind yourself it's about the giving, not the receiving. Thank you. Sometimes the human flesh is just so demanding, they want to be loved too. Well, I am loved, just not by this bunch of people. But I have friends in church, in my old school who loves me to bits! And I love them too. It's just that I can't spend much time with them. If I can, my life would be amazing. I can't wait to leave this bunch of people next year! Really. I miss my school, definitely. But the people, I might miss some of them, like Yumey and so, but the rest? Maybe a tinsy bit. Whenever someone invites me somewhere, I actually make an effort to go, always, cause I believe it is important to actually support and attend something when invited. But when I go there, once again I'm alone. Hah! I ain't joining u guys next time! Angry. Anyways, that's about it. Complaining's over. Whoever reading this, just ignore it. It ain't me.. it's just the bad side of me.. URGH! Releasing anger and dissapointment. That is all. Soon I shall be a smiling pig riding a buffalo in tutu! (: Anyways, not all things in my life are bad. It's just this small part that affects me the most. My life is perfect otherwise. I have Loveen and the whole Dubcube team to love, together with those from usj13 like Chein Shyan, Li Li and the rest, and also my beautiful family <3 I love them to bits, really. I do. I do. I do! (: And I have God to love and for Him to love me back :D I love Him, for he loved me first! I believe he has a better plan for me. All these messy complicated stuff? Just a test! I shall trust in Him! LOVE YOU GOD!!!!!! My BEST Friend! (: 

and there is none like you Jesus. ♥ Hosanna