Monday, July 4, 2011,12:38 AM
Dear bloggie. I'm in love. Yes I am (: I'm definitely in love.
But you know, the thing about love is.. it's always so funny. It messes you all over and make you feel happy and sad at the same time! Ahh.. this one is different I think, but you know me.. I really don't know these things. Last time, when I was younger, the first guy I liked was because of his looks I guess, and the 2nd was because I missed playing with him when we were kids..? When they walk pass or are nearby, my legs really turned into Jelly and I couldn't move at all. Really. And if people tease me I'd really blush blush and try to hide I suppose. I don't know. But this time, it's different. I don't turn Jelly and I'm perfectly fine with the person around. You'd think that 'oh, maybe it means you don't really like like him as much as the previous ones?' but I don't think it's like that. I find this weird yes, but I do like like him. For how he is. For his character, his smile, his everything. I have no idea why my leg doesn't turn jelly or i don't have those awkward times and stuff. I really don't know why. I just know that I kinda REALLY like him. This time really for who he is I guess. But who knows. Anyways, I want to be a person who is happy no matter what and to be one who thinks of others. And by that, means I always want the person whom I love to be happy themselves. If they're happy, I should be happy. And well, the person I like already likes someone else ): Of course I feel a little sad and stuff, but you know what? The person he likes is a really really really loving and caring girl. Someone really joyful and amazing. And so, I've decided to back off and you know.. just be there. She's a great person and if both of them are to be together, at least I know he'll be happy with such an amazing person (: I still wish though, for myself. But.. if he's happy, I'm happy (: Maybe he's not the right one for me yet. I believe God has already planned everything out for us, we just got to be patience sometimes. So yeah. I'm leaving it all to God! I will love whoever God choose. To love someone is a choice (: And I choose to love whoever God puts me with, cause I know he only wants the BEST for me! Besides.. I promised Him, no relationship whatsoever till 18! heh. (: Keep your promises Jolene! Don't go floating about already. haha!
Alrighty, that's it. I just got to let it out and type everything off. haha! Lazy to read what I typed so yeah, whatever is written is just written and unedited. It is RAW. hahah! K lah. Dear future me, please pat yourself for finding a great husband in the future. HAHAHAHA!!! <3 Awhh. God is AMAZING! (:
and there is none like you Jesus. ♥ Hosanna
